Children's Day Reflections by Nicole Wu Simin
Last night I received an email from Nicole Wu, a recent graduate and new alumni, who's now in MAS. It was a touching piece, a poignant reminder that life is short. She would like to share:
"1st October, it was nearly half my life ago that I last celebrated Children's Day for real.
My friends will know that I'm still somewhat a little bothered about the passing away of a schoolmate, someone I first got to know in the first year that Children's Day ceased to be a school holiday. As a child back in secondary school, she was quiet, friendly nonetheless, but mostly an introvert. I've never gotten to know her very well despite being in the same class for 2 years, and following that, same Chinese class for the next 2. Met her again in Uni, and she's changed quite drastically. Out of respect, I will not describe her antics and mannerisms, but she was being ostracized by the rest of the school. It was obvious there's something wrong, be it depression or some sort of illness that's eating away her ability to fit in, and by excluding her, we've only added to that issue.
And one day, in the second half of 2005, she killed herself. We don't know how, and sadly, we never knew why. In general, yes, we know she must have been ill somehow, but I've never bothered to speak to her, to understand why. I shunned her. And looking back now, I can't help but question: what kind of human am I? To see someone obviously in need of help and to consciously ignore it... ...
In the Straits Times on 1st October 2006, the back cover of Sunday's Lifestyle section, there's a full-page advert on and for cancer victims. Do read it. Please, let me ask of you now, if any of you has a problem that you can't deal with, just share it please. The other person probably cannot help, but talking about it IS a therapy.
And for the rest of us, here's an excerpt:
"One of the greatest acts of kindness we can do for the dying is allowing them to be heard. But we may ask ourselves in panic: "What do we do? What do we say?" The answer is always to listen. Listen to them cry. Listen to them laugh. Listen to them complain. Listen to them grieve. Listen to them reminisce. Listen to them talk openly about dying. And, then, listen to them cry again. There are no rules, except to play it by ear and listen to what the dying have to say to us. It is, in the end, only in an honest and loving atmosphere that the living and thed ying develop the strength to come to terms and accept the unacceptable."
Yes, for most of us, friends who are dying probably don't loom large in our lives right now, but I'm sure you understand what I'm driving at."